Evaluating biological methods for treating wastewater

Evaluating biological methods for treating wastewater There are many biological methods for treating wastewater. Among them the most popular processes are suspended growth processes and the boifilm also known as attached growth . Both the above mentioned processes are used to treat wastewater by different mechanisms and variations in their principle of operation for removal of carbonaceous organic matter, nutrients (i.e. nitrogen and phosphorous) and production of biorenewable methane. Attached growth or fixed-film methods are biological treatment based. In these the microorganisms convert the organic substance in wastewater to air and cell tissues are attached to some inert medium. The inert media used in attached growth process is crushed trap rock, limestone granite, wood slats clinkers, , plastic tubes, hard coal materials and corrugated plastic section over which wastewater is distributed. Biological slime layer (i.e., zoogleal slime) develops on contact media as wastewater flows over it. Because of the concentration gradient, all the organic pollutants those are dissolved in wastewater are carried into the slime layer, results in organic oxidation. Removing organic pollutants is done by microorganisms which are present in biological slime film. Rotating biological contactors, Trickling filters, packed bed reactors are the examples for aerobic attached growth process. The examples of anaerobic attached growth are anaerobic packed and fluidized bed reactors. Suspended growth processes are the biological treatment processes in which the microorganisms convert the organic matter, nutrients in wastewater to gases and rotating devices in the liquid will keep the cell tissues in suspension cells tissues. Examples for aerobic suspended growth process treatment are municipal and industrial wastewater. Anaerobic suspended growth processes are used when there is a need to treat high organic concentration industrial wastewaters and organic sludges. Activated sludge process, aerated lagoons, aerobic digestion are the examples for aerobic suspended growth processes and anaerobic digestion and anaerobic contact are the examples for anaerobic suspended growth processes. The schematics of both the attached growth and suspended growth processes for biological treatment of wastewater are shown in Figure 1. The objective of this essay is to compare and contrast both the attached, suspended growth processes for biological treatment of wastewater in terms o f their microbial ecology and review their comparative advantages and disadvantages. In addition, the essay also elaborates and discusses how these processes can be adapted to (a) remove nutrients and (b) produce biorenewable methane from wastewater by emphasising the microbiological principles involved. 2. Comparison and Contrast of Microbial Ecology of Biological Wastewater Treatment The attached growth / Suspended Growth Processes The first basic difference between attached growth and fixed film systems is the relative motion of contact. In attached growth system media is at rest and the sewage flows over it where as in suspended system, sewage and contact media are in relative motion. In attached growth processes, a conservative microbial slime arrangement is considered. The waste water stream is applied on the air-renewable surface. This water stream has minerals and organic substrate. This substance is then metabolized by the Micro organisms in wastewater. This is done in order to increase their population by releasing some energy. In fact, it cannot be considered as an aerobic system, but a device to do aerobic treatment. facultative micro organisms are present in it so it can be considered facultative. They are Pseudomonas, Alcaligenes, Flavobacterium, and Micrococcus. This kind of Aerobic bacteria, like Bacillus, is mostly seen in the upper, aerobic slime surfaces (McKinney 1962). In case when an anaerob ic zone or anoxic is created in thick slime layer, force anaerobe Desulfovibrio and sulfur-reducing bacteria are being removed from slime-medium interface (Rogovskaya M. F. Lazareva 1962). At this case the microbial slime system is know how to grow odours and possibly sloughing takes places because of the production of gases in these interior slimes. Fungi are nothing but aerobic microorganisms existing in the aerobic zone of the slime. These too fester the untreated substrate in wastewater. The effectiveness of fungus is important under relatively low pH situation or with unusual industrial effluents because fungus is useless to bacteria for their food under usual environmental conditions. Algae increasing on the surface of attached microbial slime are usually an unimportant element of the microorganisms population, incomplete to illuminated exteriors and they are clearly liberal to organic substances and high levels of carbon dioxide. Although algae add oxygen to the wastewater, they have been stimulated with responsibility for bed blockage and are considered to be difficult from an operational position (Hawkes 1963). The protozoa are the principally small animals with all shape from the Phytomastigophora to Suctoria are the controlling agents of bacterails population and they cant stable the waste. The free-swimming ciliates present at the slime surface, while the followed ciliates attendance is main in the lower regions of slime. Advanced animals like worms, snails and insect larvae nourish on the lower forms of microorganisms in slime system. They also exist in the higher aerobic areas; can help to keep the bacterial population in a state of high growth or swift food use. Early learning on attached growth populations was intended at the control of the nuisance organisms (filter flies) in dribbling filters by flooding, chlorination and the use of various pesticides. A complete description of the organisms found in close growth system has been presented by Cooke (1959) and the list of a range of organisms can be found from Wang et al. (2009). Attached enlargement processes microbial slime are short term preservation plans that should not act as effective reduction devices for S. typhosa, S. paratyphi, and Mycobacteria tuberculosis and for pathogenic protozoa, such as Entamoeba histolytica (Pierce 1978). For low organic loading, attached growth system does some nitrification since of the presence of Nitrosomonas and Nitrobacter. However, for high organic loading, nitrification in a trickling filter or similar system may be absent or nominal (Shammas Wang 2009). In contrast to the attached growth process, the suspended growth process maintains the microorganisms responsible for treatment within the suspension in flocs. In this process, there are several microorganisms involved to treat wastewater. The suspended growth flocs contain bacterial cells, other microorganisms, inorganic and organic particles. The floc size is 1-1000 mm. Figure 2 illustrates the main microorganisms in the suspended growth microbial community. For the ATP analysis and dehydrogenase activity, the viable cells would account for 5-20% of the total cells. Some authors said that active fraction of bacteria in suspended growth flocs is only 1-3% of total bacteria (Hanel 1988). Suspended growth floc contains prokaryotic and eukaryotic microorganisms, which can be observed with regular phase-contrast microscopy. The major genera in the flocs are Zooglea, Pseudomonas, Flavobacterium, Alcaligenes, Achromobacter, Corynebacterium, Comomonas, Brevibacterium, Acinetobacter, Bacillus spp., as well as filamentous microorganisms. The population of bacteria decrease as the floc size increase results in less oxygen level in the flocs (Hanel, 1988). Anoxic zones can happen within flocs, depending on the accessibility of oxygen attention in the tank and these zones will vanish when the oxygen concentration exceeds 4 mg/L. The internal regions in large flocs favor the growth of anaerobic bacteria such as methanogens or sulfate-reducing bacteria (SRB). Thus, pendant growth system could be a suitable and fitting seed material for starting anaerobic reactors. Gram negative bacteria are main in suspended growth flocs. Hundreds of bacterial damage flourish in suspended growth but only small portion can be spoted by culture-based techniques. Bacteria oxidize the organic substance and change nutrient alteration and produce polymeric materials which aid in the flocculation of microbial biomass. In aerobic pendant enlargement process, the total bacterial counts in order of 108 CFU/mg of sludge. Suspended growth flocs also shelter autotrophic bacteria such as nitrifiers (Nitrosomonas, Nitrobacter), which convert ammonium to nitrate. Phototrophic bacteria such as the purple nonsulfur bacteria (Rhodospirillaceae), green sulfur bacteria are found at much lower levels and they play a minor role in carbonaceous organ ic matter removal in suspended growth processes. The suspended growth system does not usually favour the growth of fungi, although some fungal filaments are observed in suspended growth flocs. The predominant genera found in suspended growth system are Geotrichum, Penicillium, Cephalosporium, Cladosporium, and Alternaria, which grow under specific conditions of low pH, toxicity, and nitrogen-deficient wastes. Protozoa helps in reducing carbonaceous matter, suspended solids, and numbers of bacteria, including pathogens (Curds Hawkes 1983). There is an inverse relationship between the number of protozoa in mixed liquor and the carbonaceous matter and suspended solids concentration in suspended growth effluents. Changes in the protozoan community reflect the food-to-microorganisms (F/M) ratio, nitrification, sludge age, or dissolved oxygen level in the aeration tank. The protozoan species composition of activated sludge indicates the carbonaceous matter removal efficiency of the proce ss. For example, the presence of large numbers of stalked ciliates and rotifers indicate a low carbonaceous matter. The ecological succession of microorganisms in suspended growth treatment system is illustrated in Figure 3. The ciliates (free, creeping, and stalked ciliates) are used for locomotion and for pushing food particles into the mouth, which are most abundant protozoa in suspended growth systems. Stalked, Creeping ciliates ciliates are attached to the flocs. These protozoa move via one or several flagella and take up food via the mouth or via absorption through their cell wall. The role of rotifers in suspended growth system is : They help to remove suspended bacteria, other small particles and contribute to the clarification of wastewater. They are also capable of ingesting Cryptosporidium oocysts in wastewater and thus serve as vectors for the transmission of this parasite. They contribute to floc formation by producing fecal pellets surrounded by mucus. The presence of rotifers at later stages of suspended growth system is because of the fact that these animals display a strong ciliary action that helps in feeding on reduced numbers of suspended bacteria. 3. Advantages and Disadvantages of Attached Growth and Suspended Growth Processes of Biological Wastewater Treatment The advantages of attached growth processes are low maintenance, low energy requirements, and, overall, less technology involved. These assets making them fit for wastewater treatment for small communities, as well as individual homes. In comparison with suspended growth process the main advantages of attached growth processes is simpler operation, no bulking problems, and better recovery from shock loads (Metcalf Eddy 2003). An attached growth process is very effective for biochemical oxygen demand (BOD) removal, nitrification, and denitrification. A disadvantage of attached growth processes are larger area, ineffective in cold weather, and create odor problems. An unprotected attached growth plant is vulnerable to below freezing weather and its recirculation restricted during cold weather. It is less effective in the treatment of higher organic waste. Raw wastewater must be provided to primary treatment to remove the larger solids and floating debris, because these solids can clog the treatment system. The comparative advantages and disadvantages of attached growth and suspended growth processes of wastewater treatment are illustrated in Table 1 and 2, respectively. 4. Nutrient Removal by Attached Growth and Suspended Growth Processes of Biological Wastewater Treatment Nutrients (nitrogen and phosphorous) can be removed from incoming wastewater by biological means in both the attached growth and suspended growth processes. To remove the nitrogen from, we must have to do nitrification followed by de-nitrification. Phosphorous can be removed from wastewater through assimilation of phosphorous in microbial cell. Using nitrifying reactors nitrogen removal can be done in wastewater treatment using attached growth process based trickling. Experiments on nitrifying filters reveal that adsorption, desorption as well as de-nitrification can occur in attached growth bio-film to convert ammonium. At low organic loading the attached growth system does some nitrification because of the presence of bacteria like Nitrosomonas and Nitrobacter but at higher organic loading nitrification in a trickling filter is absent or nominal. The three-stage attached growth process can be used for carbonaceous oxidation, nitrification, and de-nitrification. In case of suspended growth process, the flocs shelter autotrophic bacteria (Nitrosomonas, Nitrobacter), which change ammonium to nitrate. These species occur in clusters and they are in close contact in pending growth flocs and in biofilms. Fungi are also able to do nitrification and denitrification in suspended growth process. Compensation of a fungi-based dealing system are their capability to carry out nitrification in a single step, and they show great confrontation to inhibitory compounds. Molecular methods like aggressive PCR method showed that Nitrosomonas is (an ammonia oxidizing bacterium or AOB) 0.0033% of the total bacterial population and Nitrospira is (a nitrite oxidizing bacterium or NOB) 0.39% for NOB are present in suspended growth system. Features like ammonia/nitrite concentration, oxygen concentration, pH, temperature, BOD5/TKN ratio, and the attendance of toxic chemicals control nitrification kinetics in suspended growth system (Metcalf and Eddy 2003). The growth of a nitrifying population in suspended growth system depends on the surplus rate of the sludge and, consequently, on the BOD load, MLSS, and mean cell preservation time. The growth rate of nitrifiers is inferior in sewage and consequently a long sludge age is essential for the change of ammonia to nitrate. If the age of sludge is more than 4 days, then we be expecting nitrification. There are two processes by which nitrification can be attained in suspended growth reactors: (i) Combined carbon oxidation-nitrification (single-stage nitrification system): this process wokrs at high BOD5/TKN ratio and has a low population of nitrifiers. The oxygen requirement is exerted by heterotrophs (Figure 4). Nitrification must be followed by denitrification to remove nitrogen from wastewater. The rate of denitrification is independent of nitrate concentration but depends on the concentration of biomass and electron donor (e.g., methanol) in wastewater. The schematic of single sludge denitrification system is shown in Figure 6. Some more efficient methods based on suspended growth system to remove nitrogen in wastewater are Bardenpho Process (Figure 7), Sharon-Anammox Process and Completely autotrophic nitrogen removal over nitrite process. Biological phosphorous removal can be done with the basic steps of an anaerobic zone followed by an aerobic zone. During the aerobic stage phosphorus uptake takes and in anaerobic stage it is released subsequently (Manning and Irvine 1985; Meganck and Faup 1988; USEPA 1987). The phosphorus removal processes can be divided into mainstream and side stream processes. The alternating exposure to anaerobic conditions can be accomplished in the main biological treatment process. The most popular phosphorous removal systems based on suspended growth process like A/O Process, Bardenpho Process, and UCT Process are shown in Figure 8-10, respectively. 5. Production of Biorenewable Methane by Attached Growth and Suspended Growth Processes of Biological Wastewater Treatment Several attached growth and suspended growth processes like anaerobic digestion and microbial fuel cell are generally employed to produce biorenewable methane (CH4). A series of microbiological processes will takes place in anaerobic digestion tank to convert organic compounds to methane, carbon dioxide, and reduce the volatile solids by 35 to 60%. Bacteria and methanogens are the responsible species in stabilization of wastewater sludges and for the treatment of industrial and urban wastewaters. Anaerobic digestion produces less amounts of sludge (3-20 times less than aerobic processes). Most of the energy derived from substrate breakdown is found in the final product, CH4. Only 5% is converted into biomass under anaerobic conditions and 50% of organic carbon is converted to biomass under aerobic conditions, whereas. This biogas (mainly CH4) produced from anaerobic digestion contains about 90% of the energy of calorific value of 9000 kcal/m3, and is burned on site to provide heat fo r digesters. Furthermore, synergistic interactions between the various groups of microorganisms are implicated in anaerobic digestion of wastes. The overall reaction can be written as Although some fungi and protozoa (anaerobic protozoa) found in anaerobic digesters, bacteria and methanogens are undoubtedly the dominant microorganisms. Large numbers of facultative anaerobic bacteria (e.g., Bacteroides, Bifidobacterium, Clostridium, Lactobacillus, Streptococcus) are used in the hydrolysis and fermentation of organic compounds. Four types of microorganisms are involved in the transformation of complex materials into simple molecules such as methane and carbon dioxide. The process for methane production through anaerobic digestion is shown in Figure 11. 6. Conclusions The attached growth and suspended growth processes are most widely used for biological treatment of urban wastewater with respective and comparative advantages and disadvantages. The successful design and operation of attached growth and suspended growth processes for biological wastewater treatment require an understanding of microbial ecology of each process, types of microorganisms involved, the specific reactions that they perform, the environmental factors that affect their performance, their nutritional needs, and their reaction kinetics. In contrast to the microbial ecology of the suspended growth processes where the microorganisms responsible for treatment grow in suspension, the active bacteria in attached growth processes cling to some solid surface, natural or manmade, to perform the treatment. It can be inferred that the suspended growth processes are more preferable and advantageous for carbonaceous organic matter removal along with nutrient removal and production of bio renewable methane from urban wastewater in comparison to the attached growth processes.

Racial Inclusivity and Social Media and The Souls of Black Folks by W.E

Modern innovation has made the infusion of racial inclusivity and social media a tightrope walking affair above a never-ending abyss. Social media when used has been a place for radicalized defense, sensitive humor and to cavalcade swagger. Simultaneously this tool that has been disposed to culture through telephones, computers, tablets and many other places has created a whole new world for inauthentic means of living. In particular in regards to the African American culture. The â€Å"new ‘New Negro,’† a term suggested by Marlo David has so much at their fingertips, yet do not know how to use them. She said, â€Å"the new New Negro of the millennial age has sought to escape the shadow†¦that has been more real to him than his personality.† The arbitrary nature that African Americans escape to social media networks to show themselves only serves to cover themselves from what their blackness is. Blackness rooted in the brutalization of systemic o bjectification of their minds, bodies and expressions in various walks of life. These issues are not new to the Black experience, they are found in the early 1900’s with W.E.B. Dubois in his work, The Souls of Black Folk. His prophetic work confronted the black person then, and resonates in the infusion of Social media today in everyday life. . He writes, â€Å"How does it feel to be a problem? I seldom answer a word.† He continues, â€Å"Being a problem is a strange experience - peculiar even fro one who has never been anything else, save perhaps in babyhood and in Europe.† Social media has only meliorated the way African American persons are viewed, for Dubois and today, as a problem. From Duboisian experience in 1903 to Social Media and the Black Experience today, progress and problems persist.... ...BIBLIOGRAPHY Congress, T. L., & Willis, D. L. A small nation of people : W.E.B. Du Bois and African-American portraits of progress. New York, NY: HarperCollins. David, M. (2007). Afrofuturism and Post-Soul Possibility in Black Popular Music. African American Review , 41 (4). Dubois, W. B. (2009). The Gift of Black Folk . Garden City Park, NY: Square One Publishers. DuBois, W. E. (1903). The souls of black folk: essays and sketches. Chicago: A.C. McClurg & Co.; [Cambridge]: University Press John Wilson and Son, Cambridge,. Neuhaus, R. (2008). "The public square: a continuing survey of religion, culture, and public life. First Things , 184, 57-72. Schwartz, D. (1989). Visual Ethnography. Qualatative Sociology , 12 (2), 119-154. Senft, T., & Noble, S. (2013). Race and Social Media . In T. M. Jeremy Hunsinger, Routledge Handbook of Social Media (pp. 107-120). Routledge.

The Stupidest Angel Chapter 1

This book is dedicated to MIKE SPRADLIN who said: â€Å"You know, you oughtta write a Christmas book.† To which I replied: â€Å"What kind of Christmas book?† To which he replied: â€Å"I don't know. Maybe Christmas in Pine Cove or something.† To which I replied: † ‘Kay.† Acknowledgments The author wishes to acknowledge those who helped: as always, Nicholas Ellison, my intrepid agent; Jennifer Brehl, my brilliant editor; Lisa Gallagher and Michael Morrison for continued confidence in my ability to tell stories; Jack Womack and Leslie Cohen for getting me in front of my readers and the press; the Huffmans, for preparing a landing pad and a warm welcome; Charlee Rodgers, for the careful reads, thoughtful comments, and just putting up with the process; and finally, Taco Bob, from whom I joyfully (and with permission, which almost ruins it) swiped the idea for chapter 16. Author's Warning If you're buying this book as a gift for your grandma or a kid, you should be aware that it contains cusswords as well as tasteful depictions of cannibalism and people in their forties having sex. Don't blame me. I told you. Chapter 1 CHRISTMAS CREEPS Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe. Pine Cove, her pseudo-Tudor architecture all tarted up in holiday quaintage – twinkle lights in all the trees along Cypress Street, fake snow blown into the corner of every shop's windows, miniature Santas and giant candles hovering illuminated beneath every streetlight – opened to the droves of tourists from Los Angeles, San Francisco, and the Central Valley searching for a truly meaningful moment of Christmas commerce. Pine Cove, sleepy California coastal village – a toy town, really, with more art galleries than gas stations, more wine-tasting rooms than hardware stores – lay there, as inviting as a drunken prom queen, as Christmas loomed, only five days away. Christmas was coming, and with Christmas this year, would come the Child. Both were vast and irresistible, and miraculous. Pine Cove was expecting only one of the two. Which is not to say that the locals didn't get into the Christmas spirit. The two weeks before and after Christmas provided a welcome wave of cash into the town's coffers, tourist-starved since summer. Every waitress dusted off her Santa hat and clip-on reindeer antlers and checked to make sure that there were four good pens in her apron. Hotel clerks steeled themselves for the rage of last-minute overbookings, while housekeepers switched from their normal putrid baby-powder air fresheners to a more festive putrid pine and cinnamon. Down at the Pine Cove Boutique they put a â€Å"Holiday Special† sign on the hideous reindeer sweater and marked it up for the tenth consecutive year. The Elks, Moose, Masons, and VFWs, who were basically the same bunch of drunk old guys, planned furiously for their annual Christmas parade down Cypress Street, the theme of which this year would be Patriotism in the Bed of a Pickup (mainly because that had been the theme of their Fourth of July para de and everyone still had the decorations). Many Pine Covers even volunteered to man the Salvation Army kettles down in front of the post office and the Thrifty-Mart in two-hour shifts, sixteen hours a day. Dressed in their red suits and fake beards, they rang their bells like they were going for dog-spit gold at the Pavlov Olympics. â€Å"Give up the cash, you cheap son of a bitch,† said Lena Marquez, who was working the kettle that Monday, five days before Christmas. Lena was following Dale Pearson, Pine Cove's evil developer, through the parking lot, ringing the bejeezus out of him as he headed for his truck. On his way into the Thrifty-Mart, he'd nodded to her and said, â€Å"Catch you on the way out,† but when he emerged eight minutes later, carrying a sack of groceries and a bag of ice, he blew by her kettle like she was using it to render tallow from building inspectors' butts and he needed to escape the stench. â€Å"It's not like you can't afford a couple of bucks for the less fortunate.† She rang her bell especially hard right by his ear and he spun around, swinging the bag of ice at her about hip level. Lena jumped back. She was thirty-eight, lean, dark-skinned, with the delicate neck and finely set jawline of a flamenco dancer; her long black hair was coiled into two Princess Leia cinnabuns on either side of her Santa hat. â€Å"You can't take a swing at Santa! That's wrong in so many ways that I don't have time to enumerate them.† â€Å"You mean to count them,† Dale said, the soft winter sunlight glinting off a new set of veneers he'd just had installed on his front teeth. He was fifty-two, almost completely bald, and had strong carpenter's shoulders that were still wide and square, despite the beer gut hanging below. â€Å"I mean it's wrong – you're wrong – and you're cheap,† and with that Lena put the bell next to his ear again and shook it like a red-suited terrier shaking the life out of a screaming brass rat. Dale cringed at the sound and swung the ten-pound bag of ice in a great underhanded arc that caught Lena in the solar plexus and sent her backpedaling across the parking lot, gasping for breath. That's when the ladies at BULGES called the cops – well, cop. BULGES was a women's fitness center located just above the parking lot of the Thrifty-Mart, and from their treadmills and stair-climbing machines, the BULGES members could watch the ins and outs of the local market without feeling as if they were actively spying. So what had started as a moment of sheer glee and a mild adrenaline surge for the six of them who were watching as Lena chased Dale through the parking lot, turned quickly to shock as the evil developer thwacked the Latin Santa-ette in the breadbasket with a satchel of minicubes. Five of the six merely missed a step or gasped, but Georgia Bauman – who had her treadmill cranked up to eight miles per hour at that very moment, because she was trying to lose fifteen pounds by Christmas and fit into a red-sequined sheath cocktail dress her husband had bought for her in a fit of sexual idealism – bowled backward off her treadmill and landed in a colorful spandex tangle of yoga students who had been practicing on the mats behind her. â€Å"Ow, my ass chakra!† â€Å"That's you're root chakra.† â€Å"Feels like my ass.† â€Å"Did you see that? He nearly knocked her off her feet. Poor thing.† â€Å"Should we see if she's all right?† â€Å"Someone should call Theo.† The exercisers opened their cell phones in unison, like the Jets flicking switchblades as they gaily danced into a West Side Story gang-fight to the death. â€Å"Why did she ever marry that guy, anyway?† â€Å"He's such an asshole.† â€Å"She used to drink.† â€Å"Georgia, are you all right, honey?† â€Å"Can you get Theo by calling 911?† â€Å"That bastard is just going to drive off and leave her there » â€Å"We should go help.† â€Å"I've got twelve more minutes on this thing.† â€Å"The cell reception in this town is horrible.† â€Å"I have Theo's number on speed dial, for the kids. Let me call.† â€Å"Look at Georgia and the girls. It looks like they were playing Twister and fell.† â€Å"Hello, Theo. This is Jane down at BULGES. Yes, well, I just glanced out the window here and I noticed that there might be a problem over at the Thrifty-Mart. Well, I don't want to meddle, but let's just say that a certain contractor just hit one of the Salvation Army Santas with a bag of ice. Well, I'll look for your car, then.† She flipped the phone shut. â€Å"He's on his way.† Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of â€Å"Tangled Up in Blue† in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan – anyway, by the time he got the device open, five people in the produce section of the Thrifty-Mart were giving him the hairy eyeball hard enough to wilt the arugula right there in his cart. He grinned as if to say, Sorry, I hate these things, too, but what aw you gonna do? then he answered, â€Å"Constable Crowe,† just to remind everyone that he wasn't dickmg around here, he was THE LAW. â€Å"In the parking lot of the Thrifty-Mart? Okay, I'll be right there » Wow, this was convenient. One thing about being the resident lawman in a town of only five thousand people – you were never far from the trouble. Theo parked his cart on the end of the aisle and loped by the registers and out the automatic doors to the parking lot (He was a denim- and flannel-clad praying mantis of a man, six-six, one-eighty, and he only had three speeds, amble, lope, and still). Outside he found Lena Marquez doubled over and gasping for breath. Her ex-husband, Dale Pearson, was stepping into his four-wheel-drive pickup. â€Å"Right there, Dale. Wait,† Theo said Theo ascertained that Lena had only had the wind knocked out of her and was going to be okay, then addressed the stocky contractor, who had paused with one boot on the running board, as if he'd be on his way as soon as the hot air cleared out of the truck. â€Å"What happened here?† â€Å"The crazy bitch hit me with that bell of hers.† â€Å"Did not,† gasped Lena â€Å"I got a report you hit her with a bag of ice, Dale. That's assault.† Dale Pearson looked around quickly and spotted the crowd of women gathered by the window over at the gym. They all looked away, heading for the various machines they had been on when the debacle unfolded. â€Å"Ask them. They'll tell you she had that bell right upside my head. I just reacted out of self-defense.† â€Å"He said he'd donate when he came out of the store, then he didn't,† Lena said, her breath coming back. â€Å"There's an implied contract there. He violated it. And I didn't hit him.† â€Å"She's a fucking nutcase.† Dale said it like he was declaring water wet – like it was just understood. Theo looked from one of them to the other. He'd dealt with these two before, but thought it had all come to rest when they'd divorced five years ago. (He'd been constable of Pine Cove for fourteen years – he'd seen the wrong side of a lot of couples.) First rule in a domestic situation was separate the parties, but that appeared to have already been accomplished. You weren't supposed to take sides, but since Theo had a soft spot for nutcases – he'd married one himself – he decided to make a judgment call and focus his attention on Dale. Besides, the guy was an asshole. Theo patted Lena's back and loped over to Dale's truck. â€Å"Don't waste your time, hippie,† Dale said. â€Å"I'm done.† He climbed into his truck and closed the door. Hippie? Theo thought. Hippie? He'd cut his ponytail years ago. He'd stopped wearing Birkenstocks. He'd even stopped smoking pot. Where did this guy get off calling him a hippie? Hippie? he said to himself, then: â€Å"Hey!† Dale started his truck and put it into gear. Theo stepped up on the running board, leaned over the windshield, and started tapping on it with a quarter he'd fished from his jeans pocket. â€Å"Don't leave, Dale.† Tap, tap, tap. â€Å"You leave now, I'll put a warrant out for your arrest.† Tap, tap, tap. Theo was pissed now – he was sure of it. Yes, this was definitely anger now. Dale threw the truck into park and hit the electric window button. â€Å"What? What do you want?† â€Å"Lena wants to press charges for assault – maybe assault with a deadly weapon. I think you'd better rethink leaving right now.† â€Å"Deadly weapon? It was a bag of ice.† Theo shook his head, affected a whimsical storyteller's tone: â€Å"A ten-pound bag of ice. Listen, Dale, as I drop a ten-pound block of ice on the courtroom floor in front of the jury. Can you hear it? Can't you just see the jury cringe as I smash a honeydew melon on the defense attorney's table with a ten-pound block of ice? Not a deadly weapon? ‘Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this man, this reprobate, this redneck, this – if I may – clump-filled-cat-box-of-a-man, struck a defenseless woman – a woman who out of the kindness of her heart was collecting for the poor, a woman who was only – ; â€Å"But it's not a block of ice, it's –  » Theo raised a finger in the air. â€Å"Not another word, Dale, not until I read you your rights.† Theo could tell he was getting to Dale – veins were starting to pulse in the contractor's temples and his bald head was turning bright pink. Hippie, huh? â€Å"Lena is definitely pressing charges, aren't you, Lena?† Lena had made her way to the side of the truck. â€Å"No,† Lena said. â€Å"Bitch!† Theo said – it slipped out before he could stop himself. He'd been on such a roll. â€Å"See how she is,† said Dale. â€Å"Wish you had a bag of ice now, don't you, hippie?† â€Å"I'm an officer of the law,† Theo said, wishing he had a gun or something. He pulled his badge wallet out of his back pocket but decided that was a little late for ID, since he'd known Dale for nearly twenty years. â€Å"Yeah, and I'm a Caribou,† Dale said, with more pride than he really should have had about that. â€Å"I'll forget all about it if he puts a hundred bucks in the kettle,† Lena said. â€Å"You're nuts, woman.† â€Å"It's Christmas, Dale.† â€Å"Fuck Christmas and fuck you.† â€Å"Hey, there's no need for that kind of talk, Dale,† Theo said, going for the peace in peace officer. â€Å"You can just step out of the truck.† â€Å"Fifty bucks in the kettle and he can go,† Lena said. â€Å"It's for the needy.† Theo whipped around and looked at her. â€Å"You can't plea-bargain in the parking lot of the Thrifty-Mart. I had him on the ropes.† â€Å"Shut up, hippie,† Dale said. Then to Lena, â€Å"You'll take twenty and the needy can get bent. They can get a job like the rest of us.† Theo was sure he had handcuffs in the Volvo – or were they still on the bedpost at home? â€Å"That is not the way we –  » â€Å"Forty!† Lena shouted. â€Å"Done!† Dale said. He pulled two twenties from his wallet, wadded them up, and threw them out the window so they bounced off of Theo Crowe's chest. He threw the truck in gear and backed out. â€Å"Stop right there!† Theo commanded. Dale righted the truck and took off. As the big red pickup passed Theo's Volvo station wagon, parked twenty yards up the lot, a bag of ice came flying out the window and exploded against the Volvo's tailgate, showering the parking lot with cubes but otherwise doing no damage whatsoever. â€Å"Merry Christmas, you psycho bitch!† Dale shouted out the window as he turned onto the street. â€Å"And to all a good night! Hippie!† Lena had tucked the wadded bills into her Santa suit and was squeezing Theo's shoulder as the red truck roared out of sight. â€Å"Thanks for coming to my rescue, Theo.† â€Å"Not much of a rescue. You should press charges.† â€Å"I'm okay. He'd have gotten out of it anyway, he has great lawyers. Trust me, I know. Besides, forty bucks'† â€Å"That's the Christmas spirit,† Theo said, not able to keep from smiling. â€Å"You sure you're okay?† â€Å"I'm fine. It's not the first time he's lost it with me.† She patted the pocket of her Santa suit. â€Å"At least something came of this.† She started back to her kettle and Theo followed. â€Å"You have a week to file charges if you change your mind,† Theo said. â€Å"You know what, Theo? I really don't want to spend another Christmas obsessing on what a complete waste of humanity Dale Pearson is. I'd rather let it go. Maybe if we're lucky he'll be one of those holiday fatalities we're always hearing about† â€Å"That would be nice,† said Theo. â€Å"Now who's in the Christmas spirit?† In another Christmas story, Dale Pearson, evil developer, self-absorbed woman hater, and seemingly unredeemable curmudgeon, might be visited in the night by a series of ghosts who, by showing him bleak visions of Christmas future, past, and present, would bring about in him a change to generosity, kindness, and a general warmth toward his fellow man But this is not that kind of Christmas story, so here, in not too many pages, someone is going to dispatch the miserable son of a bitch with a shovel. That's the spirit of Christmas yet to come in these parts. Ho, ho, ho.

Martin Luther King Quotes and Speeches